Friday, July 24, 2009

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great". - Golda Meir

So as  life moves forward it has consistantly gotten busier crazier and a little bit more brighter.
Refreshing to say the least. Well as refreshing as it can get.
The issue with  the rapist  died. He didn't admit to everything total for the conference call. I have been getting called, stalked, followed, left messages. It's scary. I really can't handle it. I have thrown myself into panic attacks. Scares me. 
I spent the night a few nights ago just crying. I haven't done that in awhile. It was with the redhead. I hate crying especially in front of him. He gave me some advice to just confront him. I don't know if I could do that. Really? The man who fucked me to the extent of bruises on my legs, my disoriented self didn't know what to do. I still don't know what to do when it comes to the extent of seeing him on campus. It happens, more than I would like as well.
It kind of makes me scared to see what happens next. 
It was comforting to know he had some problems too. I just wish he kind of understood why my trust issues are out of control. Atleast for the moment.

In happier in news, I spoke with my brother for the first time in over 20 years. They have been looking for me. Amazing.We all hate my father, and I actually kind of look like them. Pretty nuts.

Paisley Jane signing out.