Monday, December 29, 2008

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Well as Christmas came and went. It fucking crazy. Well what else is new.
My best friend- well out of 2. Went to Jail.  4th street. Fucking nuts. Most of it is BS. And I am  worried about her. She was talking about killing herself earlier. Scares me shitless especially after Jake. I worry about her. Her family is kind of a mess- if you ever read this  I am sorry but dealing with the older brother it kind of is. She just needs some stability. With the 2 felonies she got- she no longer persue her dream of becoming a teacher. Which is fucking lame. You egg someones car, and leave them notes you get 2 felonies. And he thinks your threatening life? Please.
In other more exciting news. Today at work I got paid 50 bucks to play laser tag. FUCK YEAH your jealous. See I knew it.
I found out- that my friends mother used to be the security guard at my high school it was kind of strange seeing the lady  who always yelled at my friends( within good reason) in her PJ's.
Oh and if you ever read this- remember that guy.
Yeah I got an present from him.Cute necklace. We did a little exchange it was cute...
Yeah.. I am thinking too much. People can their lives get better so I can stop fixing them? K thanks?
Oh yeah I did a bad thing. Oh well.

Monday, December 22, 2008

omnia causa fiunt

My title- omnia causa fiunt. <~ That's in Latin.Everything happens for a reason.. well atleast thats what it is in English.
I have been a big believer in this motto for a long time.
But I have been at a crossroads at what I want.
There is this guy-.. ( yeah there is always a guy)
I have been hanging out with him for a few weeks well since around Halloween. Things started out slow just kind of hanging out. Goofing around picking on each other.
My friend, Danielle noticed it first. We were at Tyler's party. He kept touching me, picked me up when he hugged me. My friend, Kim said- This isn't dirty dancing. Do not put Jill in a corner.
Let me back up- and describe him a bit.
6'2 Red hair. Green eyes. Charming as hell. Smart as hell. I haven't ever been able to have a conversation with a man about Thoreau in years( or well since junior year in high school english when we were talking about it.).Well minus Sena but he doesn't count.( No offense.) Has decent taste in movies- or well ones I like. And reads as much as I do- if not more.
He does cute things. Never really had that experience. It's nice. I enjoy it.

But of course there is something I am afraid of. Before I dive in head first.
My friend, liked him. I suppose alot. She got out of a relationship- they kind of dated kind of not.
I kind of feel like I am stuck there.
I have no idea where the hell I am in with all of this.
The most of an answer is- from his friend, Luke," You know, you make him happy- right?"
Which is nice to hear. It's even nicer to know I feel the same way.
But really. What am I to do?
With this kid- I actually want to learn more- and tell him things about me. Which I don't ever want to do with people. Hello I write in a blog. I don't tell everyone my stories. I think thats kind of a sign.
Hopefully something good would happen. I need it.
Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream-world into reality.- Thoreau