More Than A Feeling.

So the wonderful world of me is confusing. I usually am super fucking confident. Fucking badass. I know what I want and how to get it.

Just not as of lately. 

I am a big mess of confusion.

I am starting to trust someone. Yeah it took a few months. But I am. It scares the living shit out of me.

I have never been one to trust... EVER. 

Especially after the whole jewdouche  incident and his snagglenosed bitch expelling my secret that no one really needed to know about.

I dont get jealous. And I am fucking jealous- and it's over nothing.

I feel like screaming into a pillow and beating up people.

I don't get crushes. I don't hold shit in and what am I doing?

EXACTLY That.

And why the fuck do I feel like I have connection with someone- and I can't think of what that connection is minus

-family life

-movies

-hookah

- dead baby jokes

- friends.

- and he's a dynamite kisser.

- kind of gets why life just sucks sometimes

- isn't a little bitch about my stomach

- and he listens. it's nice. it's not even rude.

- plus the sarcasm is a turn on.

And why the fuck am I still rambling.

In other news. 

Crohns and colitis walk 4-18-09

go to it. Not relay for life. they fucking suck.

Advice?

K thanks

I keep wanting to say I am happy in this spot. i just keep getting more and more confused with things.I hate that.

Maybe I want something more. 

But that wont happen knowing him.