Just not as of lately.
I am a big mess of confusion.
I am starting to trust someone. Yeah it took a few months. But I am. It scares the living shit out of me.
I have never been one to trust... EVER.
Especially after the whole jewdouche incident and his snagglenosed bitch expelling my secret that no one really needed to know about.
I dont get jealous. And I am fucking jealous- and it's over nothing.
I feel like screaming into a pillow and beating up people.
I don't get crushes. I don't hold shit in and what am I doing?
And why the fuck do I feel like I have connection with someone- and I can't think of what that connection is minus
- dead baby jokes
- and he's a dynamite kisser.
- kind of gets why life just sucks sometimes
- isn't a little bitch about my stomach
- and he listens. it's nice. it's not even rude.
- plus the sarcasm is a turn on.
And why the fuck am I still rambling.
In other news.
Crohns and colitis walk 4-18-09
go to it. Not relay for life. they fucking suck.
I keep wanting to say I am happy in this spot. i just keep getting more and more confused with things.I hate that.
Maybe I want something more.
But that wont happen knowing him.